Often times it is easier to place the blame for our problems on anyone else but ourselves. It takes a lot to sit back and realize that we are the biggest part of our own problems. I realized this the other day as I was sitting there getting angry at my husband for everything that has gone wrong in our marriage. I realized that marriage is really a two way street that has to be worked on by both parties, and I was really not helping the situation. I had talked to him about going to marriage counseling before, and he told me that it was pointless to sit in front of some strange person just to argue about our problems because we could sit in the privacy of our own home and do that for free. I told him that there was always the alternative of going to online marriage counseling and he quickly dismissed that idea as well. This was all before I realized that there were so many things that I had to work on by myself.

I had always had the notion that seeing a trained professional to take care of my problems was the best idea, but after heavy thought and realization I decided to do a lot of working on myself. I take the time to listen to his thoughts and ideas, and I am striving to give him all of the courtesies that he gives me, it is starting to work really well. I figured that we could actually save marriage counseling for other couples who were in less trouble than we were.

I quit feeling sorry for myself, stopped the crying, and stopped playing the blame game. After all of this our marriage started to get better and better day by day. Everything that we do requires a huge commitment that I had never realized before. Since we got married so young I really had no idea the magnitude of a marriage commitment, and I am starting to see why people often say that marriage is work now.

As soon as I realized that we were two separate beings striving to make each other’s lives as happy as possible things became clearer, and we are happier. The biggest hurdle for me was taking responsibility for my own life and my own decisions. Marriage counseling may be great for some people, but before you do it take into account what is really going on in each of your lives.